Second-Half Team

Opened my eyes and turned my head up to look out the window. Still pretty dim out, I can probably get a few more hours of sleep in. Grabbed the phone to check the time only to find out it was a minute past noon. Shit, where did the time go and what the hell did I do? Luckily the memory started to come back bit-by-bit and I was able to get a grasp on what type of scumunistic activities I had encountered the night before.
It was about 9:30 when we all left to hit the party. We had close to all the Scum Scuadron ready to roll out and reek havoc on the rest of the night: It was Pain, BadNews, Reverend, AlleyCat, Troop, and myself. It was our night and we were gonna make the most out of it, but first thing’s first; we needed directions. Those were gonna be hard to come by seeing as how didn’t even have an address to the location. But in true Scumdinavian form, we found out some friends were headed to the place so we decided to just create a convoy and follow the leader. That wouldn’t be so bad except one thing... our caravan leader had no fucking clue how to get to the house. Failure. Five u-turns and and fifteen minutes later light was shed on our plans and we were able to find our destination. Awesome.
We headed into the house to discover that it was a birthday party, you know the kind where you invite your close friends, not cars full of minorities. We were there now though, and I’d be damned if I didn’t leave there with a good night under my belt. That would be a real tough task seeing as how we WERE the population of the party, and there wasn’t a drop of liquor present. We’ve pulled some rabbits out of hats and created fun in plenty of situations, but none as drastic as that night. Instead of lingering in that cloud of awkwardness, we dipped downstairs only to find a foosball table and a ping pong table with, get this, people actually utilizing the table for table tennis. We all exchanged looks and wondered where the fuck is the booze? This was gonna be a tough win to pull out tonight.
“Fuck this, let’s hop on the foosball,” Pain invited. So we did, and he whooped my ass. After our series, I noticed out the corner of my eye the paddles were being replaced with Bud Light. There was hope for this night after all.
“Hey, we’re going to grab some drinks, what does everybody want?” Ann announced. She got us lost, be this more than made up for it. I voted that we take a trip south of the border; I had an urgent appointment scheduled with Mr. Cuervo, my decision advisor. Apparently, we had first class tickets to Russia to meet President Smirnoff. Eh, it’ll do, as long as we’re still international.
Before all this consumption could happen, I needed some grilled cow in my system. Orders got taken, money was distributed. and I was accompanied by AlleyCat and Troop to McDonalds to pick up our sustenance. As we pulled up to the drive-thru, I noticed about four girls knocking on the window of McDonalds while two guys were walking through the drive-thru, clearly wasted, trying to place an order. Midnight adventures are always fun, especially when you realize that you know the two guys wakling as though they were playing charades and they had to act out being a Honda. Next thing I know, my car is at maximum capacity and we’ve got even more food coming our way.
“What the hell are you guys doing walking, and how the fuck did you even get this far?” I asked out of sheer amusement.
“We didn’t walk, we’re with these drunk bitches, but they’re all gay so there was no point in riding with them anymore. We’re trying to get to that party. Can we follow you?” the homie asked. I love drunken logic.
“You guys can come, but I’m not letting anybody follow. We’re ditching those hoes if you want to come.”
“Aiite cool.”
Just like that we added to the party population and my morale started to grow. As we got back to the house and parked, I realized that there were a lot more cars in my field of vision than before. Yes, it’s time to make this night something to write home about. We stepped back in the house with fast food bags double fisted, pushing past the crowd that had flocked almost instantaneously, and headed back down to where left our comrades. On the way, I noticed that a room had been designated to dancing, and the list for pong had grown exponentially.
This is what we’ve grown accustom to as the year has progressed. We’ll get to a party that’s easily on it’s way to being a wasted mission, and the moment we show up, so does everybody else, bearing booze and well wishes. The first half of this night was extremely tough. Usually it never took this long to get things active, but we came out of the tunnel a little cold. We didn’t focus in practice that week, but it’s alright. Coach talked to us at halftime, got our minds right, and the second half would definitely be ours.
As I sat the food down, I traded a bag for a bottle and started giving my liver a little exercise. I even poured some vodka in my chaser. Tonight was mine. I even gave a man an extra cheeseburger I found in the bottom of my bag. Creating networks even on my off days, a nice little skill to keep handy. By the time we finally got up to the pong table, the party was tailing off. But that’s fine, I had already achieved inebriation.
For most people, this story would have ended when the party did, but my night was only escalating. Around 1:30 we got back to our living space. I hadn’t sat down for five minutes before my roommate walked in with a pipe and a nug of bomb weed. Hey, why not? BadNews and I swapped hits with Roommate until it was all gone. My mind was loading it’s suitcases and I was headed to a different celestial space. Drunken space traveling for the win. At this point, BadNew’s girlfriend had started to make her way back to my room along with Ann. Before they arrived I got a call from Wiz and he presented me with a plan of action
“Yo, get over here to Lak’s room. We’re trying to get some weed.”
“Man I already got company, I’m not trying to leave them here.” At this point, he stopped talking. I thought he was done but he was simply passing the phone to Lykke, easily the baddest European girl I’ve ever seen.
“Damien, it’s Lykke. Hey come over and hang out with us.” Peer pressure had never been so beautiful. The move had been made for me. I had to leave my company, there was no other way. As I jetted out my room, I looked over to see Pain unconscious on my living room couch. I’ll leave him be.
Next thing I know, I’m sitting in Lak’s room directly across from Lykke as she held a vaporizer nozzle. I ended up in a completely different galaxy, and there was still the task of walking back to the dorm. Somehow I made it, just in time to see my company out. Hopped in bed, grabbed my trashcan and sat it by the bed. I blinked a few times and it was noon.